Validation In Life

I’ve been really, REALLY stressed out a lot lately. So stressed out to the point I’m breaking out, forgetting lots of tiny little things, messing up plans, not able to concentrate, slurring speech, messing up A LOT at work, etc. And it’s definitely because of work. I feel like I have too much on my plate right now and no down time. I just do not feel like I’m very good at doing adult things right now.

I took off last Thursday and Friday and went to Ocean City for the crusin weekend which was nice. However I don’t feel like it was adequate enough time to recharge. I still feel stressed. The last real vacation I guess was Panama a year and a half ago.

This kind of stress is something new to me though. I’m just not handling it well. I feel like my work is sub-par and I’m just not as good as I used to be. I feel like I could get fired for messing up so much.

Talking with Brian last night made me realize that it may be because I don’t get validated. When I was in college, sure I’d get stressed and mess up and stuff but I also got validated. I would get grades back that made me feel good about myself. In the real world we don’t get that. The only validation I get for the work that I do is MAYBE once a year, an annual review. Other than that, nothing. No, “doing a good job”, “wow you did that really great/fast”, whatever. Just no validation. And it’s not only this job, it’s been since I got out of college… every job I’ve never received enough validation.

I realize this validation problem in my personal life as well. Like the Young Turks did a story on social media and how it hurts our self-esteem and our self image. They covered just what others say, etc. For me it’s not like that with social media. For me it’s how many likes and comments I get.

I’ve kind of quit Facebook again (not like anyone notices) but I’ve stopped posting my pictures from Instagram. The likes I got were just not good enough. Especially when I see a lot of other friends get likes and stuff after one hour of a post… If I post something the first like will be like hours from then. Other friends post things and they get like 20+ likes all the time. My world record for a post is like 20 likes.

I feel like social media has made me less validated as a person. If I don’t get enough likes on a post or a picture, I delete it. It makes me feel inadequate if I don’t get likes or comments. No one is talking about that. I could write the exact same thing as any other friend on Facebook, they would get like 20 likes and I wouldn’t get any. Twitter is the only social media I actually like and I don’t feel the pressure to get likes or retweets or anything.

And yes, I get plenty of validation from Brian but it’s not the same as a boss or a friend just telling me I’m doing a good job or that I’m an awesome person and that I’m liked. I’m not getting what I need right now to feel better about myself and I really don’t know how to solve this issue.

Just stress like everywhere. Work and social media. I can quit Facebook but I can’t quit work.

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