"Are you serious? I had a beer." - Dawn B doing subtraction for a tip

"Dawn plus drinking plus adding don't equal." - Dawn B

"They're work. Why would you jump around?" - Dawn B helping me pick out business casual clothes

"We haven't bought curtains yet... We've only been in the house five years." - Dawn B she had a blanket over the window

"Well that's the height of maturity." - Kate C brian's comment

"I was raised a redneck. I grew up in Elkridge." "That's nothing to be proud of." - Kim M & Uncle George

"It could be worse. You could be black." - Uncle George wtf???

"I feel like I'm in a Coors Light beer can." - Uncle George his new/old truck

"Guess what I saw?" "Elvis." - Kim M & Uncle George

"So let me get back to me..." - Kim M

"You didn't see me naked?" "No." "Okay, good, cause sometimes..." - Leslie B & Janny M out her window

"What are you doing? Only I get to honk my horn." - Leslie B

"Okay. If you don't mind it getting all cheesed up." - Paul H borrowing someone's knife

"I just saw Adriane flailing." - Kirk S circle of death, heaven card

"It's gotta come from the heart." - Kirk S a rule to comment on people

"I won't be stupid again, I promise." - Paul H he spilled beer which put out the candle

"It's not gonna explode if you pour beer on it." - Paul H

"I had to get my dig in there." - Kirk S statement

"Damn it. I wanted to eat pizza." - Adrienne K instead we had to drink

"Kirk can deep throat better than I can." - Ryan A

"You were gonna blow who?" - Kirk S

"You can make out if you want." - Paul H

"That's true too. Seth sees when penis..." - Paul H

"Maybe I can take April's mom." "That's what she said." - Paul H & Adrienne K

"You're pointing at a filing cabinet." - April K

"My breasts hadn't reached maturity yet." - Paul H

"We'd have a pretty good time in there." - Kirk S if someone went with him to the bathroom

"That's how debates are won now a days... Not by proof but by consensus." - Seth W

"It's money." "Oh, then do it." - Mike R & Masoud D masoud told mike to stop emailing from his phone during lunch

"Two words... Drug testing." - Mike R some of the jokes dimitri was making

"Eww, how was it?" "Chunky." - Janny M & Dawn B the old milk in the fridge

"I don't have to lick it to make it stick it." - Dawn B envolope

"Well, we're gonna put pictures up so it muffles the sound." - Leslie B in the bathroom, very echoy

"You're your friends." "So you guys are classy and beautiful?" - Brian C & Leslie B

"Yes, I'm going to get naked!" - Leslie B the drink <3

"Where's your refrigerator?" "Uh, it's in the kitchen." - Brian C & Leslie B

"I don't know where stuff is. I'm getting stressed." - Leslie B she has to unpack

"Thanks. I would want to have a thin face... But I don't understand." - Leslie B

"She made me cry." - Leslie B i did, from laughing so hard

"So anyway, back to me..." - Leslie B

"Stop. I want to talk about myself." - Leslie B

"Why is your brother so ugly?" - Leslie B talking to brian

"Did you see the way Joe looked at me? There were undeniable sparks." - Leslie B

"Why is it when she's winning she's like happy?" - Leslie B

"It's like I have to pay for her lessons." - Leslie B

"I'm a Miller Light girl." - Dawn B

"I'm waiting for you." "You'll be waiting for a long time." - Janny M & Dawn B u don't wanna know

"Is that in like a few hours? To some people, that's a long time." - Jeff D

"When alcohol's involved, you never know." - Dawn B

"What are you hunting over there? Deer?" - Clara D (pic) isn't it obvious?

"Jeff, you screwed yourself?" - Clara D

"Well I felt bad for you guys." - Jeff D he hit one of our balls in in pool

"No we need him to stay. Send him." - Brian C they wanted jeff but john was better at pool than jeff so bri wanted jeff to go instead

"I'm not gonna make it anyway." - Jeff D

"He was like 'okay I'll put on clothes'." "Eww." "I'm a bachelor." - Seth W & Janny M & Paul H

"Seth has attacked my very important countries." "What? Siam and India?" - Paul H & Seth W with one guy on each

"Seth and I are the only ones with penises... Oh wait. Paul does too." - Janny M risk we call cannons penises

"I understand you're scared of it." - Paul H his cannon

"Paul, did you lose your dick?" "I'll get it back." - Brian C & Paul H

"Maybe if you strengthen your boarders..." - Paul H why brian was being invaded

"That dick's not going anywhere." - Paul H

"Seth doesn't like peace. He's a Republican." - Janny M

"He's my Carl Rove." - Seth W brian was giving seth advice

"You got Utah, you got lots of places." "Utah?" - Paul H & Seth W & Janny M utah said at the same time, it's not a country in risk

"It's not like you live here or pay rent or anything." - Loreal B logan was being bad at our house

"Name it Petunia." - Loreal B alan's ping pong paddle

"You lost to Petunia." - Loreal B

"I was blowing my nose the whole way. Everyone loved me." - Roshy R on the plane from europe

"I need both of them." - Roshy R she was sitting in two chairs

"You can tag me but I don't think anyone's gonna know." - Roshy R she doesn't have fb

"Never sleep with Janis." "Damn. Cross that off on my things to do." - Brian C & Roshy R

"I can see it now. You all ride up in your bicycles... We all ride up in our cars." - Uncle George football game

"We can get Stacy but she's gone." - Kim M to be a cheer leader

"Looked like a herd of elephants going after a peanut." - Uncle George i got sacked

"You better come early and don't come hungover." - Kim M bri was hungover sunday morning

"It's not time for rational decisions." - Seth W he started invading brian

"Oh s**t. He's gonna build houses." "Uh, it's a train." - Seth W

"Merry Christmas." "I'm Jewish." - Janny M & Seth W

"No one's in my seat this time... I feel disappointed." - Tim C when he got up before, someone was in his seat

"My wife was her father..." - Uncle George oka...

"Is that the dip you had before?" "Like that Leslie like organismed over? Yeah." - Tricia B

"On, Facebook?" - Ian K asking if he wanted to play a game

"Yeah I used to do that when I was thirteen too." - Rachael A

"Wait. Canada has a military?" - Janny M that was a bad quote

"What was that?" "That was an imitation of the goal the other day." - Janny M & Tricia B

"Half her quotes are about boobs usually." - Tricia B

"I never had a White Russian." "Come on you went to Frostburg." - Janny M & Travis B

"But if you try to parallel park, good luck." - Travis B talking about tricia's old car

"Come on, Brian. Figure it out, man." - Travis B how to open the door, we got locked out

"There were quotes that were said and I didn't get them." "Bro? Is that one?" - Janny M & Travis B

"Uh, beer before liquor?" - Tricia B

"Didn't I just laugh at this like thirteen times before?" - Tricia B they kept saying the same things

"I am not catering to your headache tomorrow morning." - Tricia B

"Screw you. Figure it out." - Travis B giving travis a hard time

"It's just a picture frame!" - Janny M (pic) there was no picture or anything in it!

"I don't wanna touch anything that's been in your drawers." - Dimitri D

"He's gonna come up and change... Not in front of you guys of course." - Leslie B

"My place is so messy." "At least you got the dirty condoms up." - Leslie B & Brian C

"If you're not gonna contribute to the rhythm than it's best you don't clap at all." - Leslie B i was purposely clapping off beat to mess up leslie's claps

"Oh now we're off! We're all off!" - Leslie B the clapping

"Look it says that he's single." - Leslie B it said that he singled, lol

"Oh no, I was off!" - Leslie B the rhythm

"That ump is hot... Just kidding. I don't know what he looks like, I can't see." - Leslie B

"For someone out of his senses, he's driving really well." - Joe C caught on camera or something

"Who shuffled these damn cards?" "You did." - Joe C & Kate C

"Seth, sit." "I am." - Brian C & Seth W

"I'm trying to dominate you." - Leslie B she was talking to seth... i mean wiki

"Did I ever get the luxury of a caption?" - Seth W his quotes with paul way back when

"It's a lot bigger than most penises." - Leslie B

"I didn't realize nut job was coming." "Brian, that's not fair. You live here." - Brian C & Leslie B talking to joe

"The love I have for this dip, I will never have for any human being." - Leslie B

"That one wasn't me... I didn't have enough reaction time... It was the wind." - Megan McKibben the chips fell on the ground

"Oh come on, I have a belly, you can hold a beer." - Tricia B having travis play with a handy cap, a beer in his hand, ping pong

"It's so fancy." - Leslie B the fruit salad

"If it doesn't have to do with penises, I'm not interested." - Leslie B

"I like how he aims for your head every time." - Tricia B joe aimed for bri's head in ping pong

"We need the money, honey." - Tricia B i was ready to give $2 to the person who drank the corrona

"I can't do two at once." "Yes you can. I saw pictures." - Leslie B & Janny M (pic)

"I can't believe she has a baby in there." - Leslie B tricia <3

"This was a few boyfriends ago..." - Seth W

"Stop causing trouble." "I'm not." - Travis B & Tricia B

"There's a space between the wheels." - Ricky B the chair wouldn't run over the bug

"That one, she looks drugged, like usual." - Tricia B lol, me

"Where are the cookies?" - Janny M nick tapped his belly

"I'm gonna have nightmares." - Leslie B a dog joke

"I never did it when I had a few beers." - Nick Maloy did his hycup trick to cure hycups

Do you not have a mirror?" - Dimitri D hypocritical girl

"It's right there, dude. Get some glasses." - Dimitri D patrick lost the top to his meat package

"You know what I'm most afraid of?" "Aliens?" - Michael D & Dimitri D

"Now let's see you open that..." - Aunt Ruth water bottle, i did easily then she pownded her fist on the table

"When she opened that with one twist..." - Aunt Ruth she had trouble opening a water bottle

"These dogs are all gonna be constipated." - Kim M we fed them cheese

"My feet are here." "Yeah, and the table moves." - Kim M & Uncle George

"It stands for George Montgomery's Company." - Uncle George GMC

"That's disgusting." - Tim C brian beat him in ping pong without a paddle

"I don't want to reach under there. That might look a little funny." - Uncle George the ball was under brian's chair

"Time to get out my secret weapon." "If she brings out a dildo, I'm leaving." - Leslie B & Brian C

"Is scooter code word for threesome?" - Leslie B wtf?

"I'm sorry to inform you... Your plant didn't make it." "Oh, I'm growing it like that." - Brian C & Leslie B (pic)

"It's like fate doesn't want me to know." - Leslie B her magic 8 ball wasn't working

"Oh my God, you almost crashed!" - Leslie B

"Especially when they're eating." - Ric R you don't want to bother mva people

"You're driving me crazy." "It's not a drive, more like a short walk." - Masoud D & Howard T

"How do you actually loose a tooth?" - Leslie B bri lost his fake tooth

"I don't know what else they could be doing? Wood working?" - Leslie B one of our friends used to scream 'harder harder' in the dorms

"I didn't get any cock at prom." - Leslie B

"Well, technically... if we made it into a workout..." - Leslie B sex

"Well it wouldn't be the same if I didn't do this." - Aunt Ruth (pic) she always spills on her shirt

"Ah and no and how, wow!" - Mom my words during scrabble

"Yeah but there's not many women who'd pay for it... especially that." - Dimitri D if patrick was a male escort

"If you're gonna give me a name, call me tripod." - Pat W

"Of course, you know me. Clothes are always on the floor." - Leslie B

"Patrick works me out so hard." - Leslie B

"How do you like him?" "What do you mean?" "How do you like him?" "Like what? Rare, medium...?" - Janny M & Leslie B

"Don't look." "Oh, we're not... Brian!" "Ahh!" - Janny M & Leslie B leslie was changing in her room

"And then we're like angry texting..." - Leslie B

"Sex while you're snorkeling... snorkel sex." - Leslie B

"So your ultimate goal is to guilt trip him?" "Yes." - Janny M & Leslie B

"I would be cuter and we'd have better babies." - Leslie B

"Who's wall can I attack now?" - Leslie B she did a number on mine

"Oh man! That's a card I didn't need." - Leslie B brian's discard

"If I could speak frank or whatever." "You can speak Janis... I don't know who Frank is." - Janny M & Leslie B

"What do you mean I'm a serial monogamist? I change my cereals." - Leslie B say it to yourself

"Oh no. I hope not a bowel movement." - Leslie B bri had to go to the bathroom

"I didn't realize he was gonna be this... puffy." - Kate C marmilaid, their cat

"No adults." - Joe C the oldest person there was 34

"Plus he glows in the dark!" - Beth R blue guy from watchmen

"Avatar's like when Dances With Wolves has a baby with Fern Gully." - Beth R

"Now with you, sweetie." - Andy S he was laughing at her

"Wow... between them and Dora..." - Kate C her favorite birthday card

"He tortured you that young?" - Emily S bri & joe's dad with his christmas puzzles

"This dog we got from Kentucky..." "Well, that's it right there." - Brian C & Emily S our doggie, what's wrong with him

"Do you want one of my thingy things?" - Courtney B her appetizer

"How do you eat it?" - Brett H courtney's appetizer

"That's not sushi, it's soup." - Ricky B

"I can't believe they cut you on the golf team... They need people on the golf team." "Apparently not." - Courtney B & Ricky B

"Do I need to swing my hips more to get the effect?" - Ricky B courtney's sandles supposidly give u a work out

"I feel a firm leg." - Ricky B

"That's cool. We'll wait twenty minutes for that big thing." - Courtney B taxi

"I think he's taking sheets off of other beds." - Jay R it took a long time for them to bring us up extra sheets

"I'm glad it wasn't me. I hate that little bastard." - Uncle George mom mailed me sponge bob stickers

"Chairs mean people come here." - Uncle George he wants to avoid that

"You got a silencer on your s**t?" - Uncle George

"It's all your fault if he starts running around the house nude." - Uncle George i gave james a sip of beer

"If there's no permanent damage, they're not really hurt." - Brian C i think bri was talking about hurting kids

"It reminds me of the days you guys were actually cute." - Mr Crider old pictures of when bri & joe were little

"Candi, poo poo in the car on the way home. That'll fix his wagon." - Mr Crider

"Oh, just letting you know, I should be in and out Monday night." "That's what he said." - Brian C & Janny M

"Maybe I'm unquotable." - Tim C no one's unquotable!!!

"Now I feel the pressure." - Tim C to make quotes

"There are probably like two on there... No offense." "Yes!" - Janny M & Tim C tim may have two quotes... more now!

"What a slut." - Dimitri D this car with this woman had like 5 kids in it

"Little Asian guy... I'm scared. Let's go to the other place." - Dimitri D

"Can I buy this?" "No." "Why not?" "Okay." - Eileen D & Dimitri D something from the fudge shop

"They'd lose too many ships if they did it during the winter." - Brian C alaskan cruise lines... whoops, where'd my ship go?

"I wonder if every time they get into an accident if their insurance goes up." - Dimitri D nascar racers