View Quotes

"Good morning, you slackers." "It's slaikers." - Mike R & Dimitri D

"I think the word you're looking for is 'awesome'." - Ernie A

"I don't want three, I want sixteen." "Well, it's not your laptop so die in a fire." - Janny M & Ernie A
ernie could have up to 16 screens on his mac

"It's too bumpy to drive." - Janny M

"No, it's from all the years of masturbation." - Marc G
why he has strong arms

"We're going to Japanese Steakhouse." "We're going to Pennsylvania." - Marc G & Jen R

"Can you not sing? There's windows..." - Leslie B

"How much?" "Twenty five cents." "That's too much." - Marc G & Leslie B
les & i were walking so bri & marc 'picked us up' if u know what i mean, he drove off after this

"You're not allowed to drive in the H O V lanes... oh wait. You just arrested someone so yeah." - Janny M
i saw someone getting arrested

"Pretty please with sugar on top and I'll spoon with you later?" "Eww, Shawn!" - Shawn R & Jen R

"Even Madden talking about food for twenty minutes is better than this." - Brian C
nfl network people, they suck

"If I had aids, I'd be skinnier." - Ernie A

"I will be nice to you for a week." "Really?" - Brian C & Leslie B
if les cut bri's hair

"If you didn't have a phone, I wouldn't be breaking it." - Leslie B

"He's just pretending to complain." - Leslie B

"It's a vagina doctor, alright?" - Shawn R

"We weren't talking so why the segway of 'now'?" - Ernie A

"They should shoot each other in the face." - Ernie A

"Whatever. You're not cute at all." "Yes, I am." - Janny M & Ernie A

"Why hasn't Mark called me back yet? People are useless." - Ernie A

"Alright, slut, you don't have to shake it." "She's a cheerleader!" - Jen R & Shawn R

"Bubby, you do not know how to do a girls hair." - Jen R

"Bubby, give me the finger." - Jen R
hmm

"I got your tongue." "Ow!" - Jen R & Shawn R

"I'm only gonna give him a concussion." - Shawn R
brian making fun of shawn's... size

"You try having boobs and see how it feels!" "I have boobs!" - Jen R & Brian C

"I think you're gonna scream anyway, aren't you?" "Yeah, that's what I was about to say." - Janny M & Shawn R
jen getting discouraged about the game

"Yeah, they make condoms, too." - Janny M
mitzubishi made our tv

"Brian, I do not want to stand around here and watch you shake your ass in front of me." - Jen R

"I don't know what's so sticky." "Your ass." - Brian C & Jen R

"Don't get her pro." - Brian C
i was bowling really well for jen

"That shows he has no future with Mori." - Masoud D
we sent a guy a document on thanksgiving & he hadn't gotten back to us

"The problem with the Steelers is..." "They're not from Cleveland." - Sam M & Mark P

"Where did my beer go?" "Up my butt and around the corner." "It's not going to taste very good then." - Shawn R & Jen R

"Aww! You missed it." - Janny M
jen just went & walked away, wii bowling

"Eww, Shawn, he's putting his ass in my face." "He's trying to make me look at his ass, okay?" - Jen R & Shawn R

"No, they know where their bread is buttered." - Brian C
his parents cats would never run away

"You're distracting me." "I'm sorry, I'll put my pants back on." - Leslie B & Marc G

"So getting your dogs to poop is a chore?" - Leslie B

"She didn't really say it and she didn't really hint at it, but I read between some lines..." - Leslie B
leslie talking about bri's mom & how she likes her

"That was... really good." - Leslie B
said unenthusiastically

"Yeah, your joke could be on a pop sickle stick." - Janny M

"You can give me head later... Brian." "Wait, okay, I'll do that." - Marc G & Brian C
he was concentrating on cards

"Honestly, Marc, what are they advertising?" "Milk." - Brian C & Marc G
almost naked girl (boobs) w/ jewelry

"He gets a quote for being a pig?" - Leslie B

"Is it a chicken or a pterodactyl wing, Dimitri? Get your story straight." - Ernie A

"You gotta watch out for those pterodactyl wings..." - Ernie A

"It smells good though. At least we get to smell it." - Ernie A
people were eating our pizza :(

"My pizza brings N I H to the conference room..." - Ernie A
singing to milkshake song

"You know what's not cool, Janis?" "What? Your face?" "Yeah, yeah! My face." - Dimitri D & Janny M

"Why would they run from the police?" "It's what every black man does." - Janny M & Marc G

"Yeah, just tell them to die in a fire." - Ernie A
when i get sales calls

"Fine, I give up. I guess I can't have them." - Brian C
dekota & shiane were after bri's slippers

"I want the Broncos." "I want the Titans." "I want the Eagles." - Brian C & Janny M & Shawn R
mnf, eagles weren't playing

"Don't ever say that in my house again!" - Shawn R
brian said good things about the pats

"You know these don't taste the greatest." - Jen R
old muffins, lol

"Well... It's possible... I'd just have to charge some people." - Shawn R
54 super bowl tickets

"I'm hungry! Stop showing food commercials!" - Shawn R

"So it'll be called twelve this season." - Shawn R
24 can't have any more new episodes bc of the writters strike

"There's a priest, right?" "Oh, God." - Brian C & Shawn R
a joke

"Why are we staring at a man's package?" - Shawn R

"Holly s**t, I crooked park ed." - Jen R

"So close to the Honda." "Excuse me!" - Marc G & Jen R
playing football

"There's food involved, she'll be there." - Brian C
leslie

"It's a nurf ball, it won't do any damage." "I got a ball that will." - Janny M & Brian C

"That's a good arm... for a girl." - Shawn R
bri's throw

"I heard that!" - Jen R
marc dissing mcnabb

"Oh, yes, Brian, I love your meat." - Marc G

"No, I don't wanna look, alright?" - Shawn R

"I wasn't looking at your bottle... there's nothing to look at." - Jen R

"Yeah, do you ever wanna be thought of as straight again?" - Brian C

"It's not a horror movie. It's got Hillary Duff in it." - Shawn R

"He went to the back room with Shawn and said I'm coming." - Marc G

"I told Shawn we would have sex tonight but it depends on how drunk I get." - Jen R

"I was gonna say, hopefully his stick is in his pants." - Shawn R

"Oh, baby this is our song." - Marc G

"I have a penis." - Jen R
okay...

"It's like... open your mouth all the way..." - Marc G

"I have no connection at all with partying or being gay." - Elizabeth M

"Don't forget the tornado's." - Aunt Chris

"I had to look hard to find that cartoon." "It wasn't in our favorites?" - Aunt Chris & Uncle Dave

"It's a stupid tradition because it tastes like sugared lint." - Uncle Dave

"I don't think I'd keep a dog that's knocked my teeth out." - Elizabeth M

"Well my dad has hands like hams." - Uncle Dave

"That truck should be in the shape of a tree." "Trees aren't very aerodynamic." - Dimitri D & Ernie A
we were following a keebler truck

"To me, Christmas is just like my birthday. Not that I think I'm God or anything..." - Ernie A

"No, I'm dating no women." - Dimitri D

"Who cares? We got Comcast." - Shawn R
bri was jelous about fios

"I look so gay." - Jen R

"This is how we bowl... apparently not." "Ou!" - Brian C & Jen R
had 2 b there i guess, she messed up & got the error

"If you're lucky, you might get some." "Oh, it's a Wednesday!" - Jen R & Shawn R
we all know what

"You know in order to get a strike, you normally have to hit the head pin." - Brian C

"Brian, your penis is showing... Jen looked." "Jen!" - Janny M & Shawn R

"Maybe I should try left handed." "Goodness knows you can't do worse." - Jen R & Brian C

"Cause maybe I don't want to talk about everyone I've made out with." - Leslie B

"I had an ass slap in West Virginia." - Leslie B

"Cock..." "Cock..." - Leslie B & Janny M
trying to teach me a russian word, no really

"You should get me in there with F D R in that pretty little dress." - Marc G

"No, he wears a bro." - Shawn R
a male bra

"Shawn, I'm taking out the trash." "Don't forget to put that jersey in there." - Jen R & Brian C
eagles jersey

"How do you f**k up an extra point, man?" - Shawn R
the redskins did it

"We're the fattest country in America." - Shawn R

"Right here... I got Mexican champagne." - Shawn R
corona

"It's like a high school party." - Leslie B
we were all making out

"They should be jealous... First of all, we have money." - Leslie B

"Looks like a midget running." - Shawn R
the guy was 5 6

"Oh wow, I'm driving next to a hearse!" - Leslie B

"No, don't throw phones..." - Marc G
he broke his phone

"So you only wanna see Brian and Marc naked?" "Uh, yeah, they're guys." - Leslie B & Janny M

"Tastes a little interesting with the Misses Butterworths, but that's a whiskey sour." - Shawn R

"Do you have to have the sound effects?" - Marc G
jen was making noise

"We're not basing the pizza size on that." "Leslie, you can't base it off of penis size." - Leslie B & Jen R

"Do I have to dial eight to get out?" - Leslie B

"That's nitrogen... Uh, I forget what it does." - Paul H

"Are you going to turn the burner on?" "I was planning to." - Shawn R & Seth W
there was a piece of paper on it

"That's why we do it in the kitchen where there's no clothes." - Janny M
car bombs, i ment to say carpet, i was kinda tipsy at this point

"Cats are great to dance with." - Paul H

"He wasn't very thirsty." - Seth W
drinking game on the wii, wario ware, he failed

"You're right, you have been with yourself." - Leslie B

"Honey, Marc's shaking his bon bon in front of me." - Jen R

"Every fire house looks like the fire house from Ghostbusters." - Seth W

"F**k you... Oh yeah. I do." - Jen R
to shawn

"Go mow someone's lawn!" - Shawn R
talking to marc of course

"Note to self. Do not rag on Philadelphia Eagles." - Seth W
we know what jen does

"You were checking David Spade out... You're gay." - Marc G

"I know what would make you happy..." - Shawn R
rubbed marc's nipples cause he was mad

"No, that turns you guys into forbidden fruit." - Shawn R
leslie's x told her not to see us

"And why wouldn't you want to drown that out with alcohol?" - Shawn R
marc was really mad

"He's not drowned himself in the shower..." "Oh God!" - Janny M & Leslie B

"This coming from the person who beats him regularly." - Shawn R

"He's been inside me twice." - Shawn R
lol, a doctor

"Damn it... I was gonna eat that." - Shawn R
food fell

"It sounds like you're having an orgasm." - Jen R

"F**king transformers..." - Shawn R

"Leave the guy alone... she's in a bad mood." "Well obviously not if he texted 'something cool just happened'." - Jen R & Shawn R

"What's on sale at Giant tomorrow?" "Well, I imagine they have food." - Jen R & Brian C

"They did kill it... Right now it's dead..." - Shahnaz D

"Sorry, I didn't mean to fondle you in a delicate, sensual manner." - Dimitri D

"Ripe tidy?" - Dimitri D
ryptide, dimitri trying to say it

"Sorry, Mike, I didn't mean to scare you." "Yes he did!" - Dimitri D & Ernie A

"Why do they use these infernal contraptions to get to the sandwiches?" - Mike R

"Sorry, I don't speak English..." - Leslie B
marc was saying how he did *somthing* to the carpet

"You know now we have to go back to my place and take them off..." - Marc G
les said she dressed up 4 us for din din

"Is that the giraffe you're talking about?" - Leslie B
lady in the background of a show, it looked like she had a long neck

"A lot of things feel good in her gut... I mean look at her." - Brian C

"She's Italian... She must be from Mexico." - Marc G

"Do you really wanna see my nipples hard? "When don't I?" - Marc G & Brian C

"Damn it. I'm starting to look gay on these things." - Brian C

"I can't sing with you!" - Leslie B
kareoke

"She makes me suck." - Leslie B

"I made it all professional cause I work in an attorney's office and all." - Leslie B
her letter to someone

"Something's burning." - Leslie B
marc was making din din

"For some reason I thought decent I thought cow intestines." - Leslie B

"When surgical tools get left behind?" - Leslie B
it was a show

"I don't need an invitation to take off my clothes." "You never did before." - Leslie B & Brian C

"Oh man. She was like a piranha out of water." - Leslie B

"I didn't say that." "You said it with your words." - Marc G & Leslie B

"He doesn't want to share a quote with me because I am the oral mistress." - Leslie B

"Hey, Marc. Do you want to play that game we played the other night?" - Brian C
lol, what game honey?

"That's another reason why I cried." - Leslie B
talking about the size of a certain appendage

"Aw! What! ...Sorry... The cards..." - Leslie B
bri & marc were playing darts & making aww noises when they messed up

"I guess we should work today, huh?" - Mike R

"Just saw where Dimitri is... He was in the restroom." "He should still die in a fire." - Mike R & Ernie A
dimitri needs 2 take us to lunch!!! he disappeared so we assumed he went to lunch w/ monique :(

"How am I gross, it's his porn." - Ernie A

"She drives pretty crazy for being shot." - Leslie B

"This is like a high school musical except people get shot and they don't sing." - Leslie B

"No, I don't look at females." - Leslie B
porn

"I thought that was a real plane." - Leslie B
it was a toy plane in the movie

"Wait, I gotta turn it on." - Marc G
the guy threw the plane in the air to fly it, spoof

"Seven isn't a multiple of one hundred." - Janny M

"He's gonna touch me!" - Leslie B

"Would you like to be screwed?" - Leslie B
holding a screw driver

"No, they're soft, feel them." - Marc G
sigh, talking about nipples again

"Um... I have to show my boobs to them." - Leslie B

"You could just wash your clothes..." - Leslie B
marc puts wax in his gym bag so it doesn't smell

"Oh, I like being on top of you." "What?" - Marc G & Brian C
me?

"Well don't kick him. Smacking is one thing." - Shawn R

"Honey, you gotta call Little Seneca." "Yeah, they're kinda closed today." - Jen R & Shawn R
it was sunday

"I didn't have three... I had four." - Shawn R
endless shrimp servings that one night

"Your wife is getting off over my white creamy stuff." - Marc G
cinasticks

"Oh, nice block. You can tear an A C L with that." - Shawn R
colts blocked a pats player

"He tried to pull his pants down!" - Shawn R

"He had to redo his mascara cause it was running." - Shawn R
tom brady

"Ah! F**king hit my gum!" - Shawn R
did a jello shooter

"Oh, come on, those things are easy to push." - Shawn R
football tackle thing, commercial

"How do you do that with spaghetti?" - Janny M
set off the smoke detector

"I don't wanna buy ice cream from a website." - Marc G

"Use the driver!" - Marc G
wii golf, i was in putter range like 2 feet away

"If I wasn't putting I'd have a boob quote." - Marc G

"Class Acts... I guess we won't be seeing Jen in there." - Brian C
store at the mall

"Soft like my nuts..." "I'm never touching that pillow again." - Marc G & Janny M

"What's down?" "The opposite of up." - Janny M & Marc G
marc was looking for a comforter

"What are we going to name them?" - Marc G
marc & i have a lot of quotes together

"I can't trust you with her, can I?" - Brian C
marc made quotes while bri checked out kitchen stuff

"It sucks, I mean all my college friends screwed me." "That's why you make new ones... Ones that can mow your lawn afterward." - Janny M & Marc G

"Look, boobs are not an instant quote, okay?" - Brian C

"Since there was no one in my room, I slept naked and I walked around naked... I even took a shower naked." - Marc G

"Is your toilet running?" "No, it's still in the bathroom." - Janny M & Marc G
pretty cheesy

"I get a f**king quote." - Marc G
he wipped out his knife... he wants quotes

"I will eat your fricken children." "Bark!" "Not the puppy!" - Marc G & Candi M & Janny M

"Hearts, X, O, X, O. Die in a fire." - Ernie A
what mary ellen could have said in an email

"Yeah, I almost pulled a Monique the other day..." - Ernie A
monique is netorious for buying things then returning them

"Why do I hear her screaming?" - Shawn R
he could hear jen screaming from all the way at their appt

"I think she's drunk off of pop sickles." - Janny M

"They're fake?" - Marc G
leslie's boobs?