View Quotes

"Howard knows me pretty well... Well, not that well..." - Dimitri D

"I'm not getting all Jesus or anything." - Dimitri D

"So you know how it feels to have extra weight behind you?" "I learn from the best." - Leslie B & Brian C

"Okay, that joke was funny but not because of the punch line... I was kind of laughing at you." - Leslie B
bri's joke

"And who are these friends...?" - Leslie B
obsessing over david's friends

"I mean who does that? It's like he's cheating on you and me." - Leslie B

"Did they sleep with him? No..." - Leslie B
lol, david's friends

"It's going to be an all out turf war." - Leslie B

"Family friends are not friends. They're like obligatory friends." - Leslie B

"Alright, the girls have already won two." - Brian C
we kicked ass at pool... mostly because they messed up

"That's what losers say." - Leslie B

"That would have went in if you hadn't said something." - Leslie B

"Brian, we're doing bad." - David E
they were like 3 games behind us

"Once it's up, it's going anywhere." - David E
classic!

"You know because you guys have more balls than we do." "We're supposed to have more balls than you." - Janny M & David E

"Forty... positive." - Leslie B
it took us like 15 hands to get to 500... pretty sad

"Good job, David." - Leslie B
he put down a three on her threes

"Are you tempted." "Yeah." "The card, right?" - Leslie B & David E

"What? You have three's." - Leslie B
she had queens

"Brian ran into a parked car." "That doesn't surprise me." - Janny M & Uncle George

"I guess I'll have to keep it in there... That's so tacky." - Kim M
she didn't have another nice dish to put food in so she had to keep it in the cooking pan

"I fell out of my chair." "Yeah, I heard." - Uncle George & Kim M
he did

"Everybody knows it's our kids." - Kim M
ding dong ditching

"I'll be warm when I'm dominating over you." - Robbie W
playing basketball... robbie was cold

"Everybody knew what we had to eat when we were finished." - Aunt Ruth
she was wearing it

"All the Mom's at Shiply's are getting their kids I touches... Not that I want to keep up." - Aunt Janet

"So if my shoes are wet should I put them in a bag of rice?" - Stacy M
ipod in rice to dry it... didn't work for me

"I wonder how much they paid him." - Aunt Janet
for luke wilson to do an at&t ad

"The senior citizens... So I'm out." - Aunt Ruth

"If we had Favre, it would have been in the endzone at least." - Brian C
cambels hail mary

"Do you get bit in the butt a lot?" "...Yes." - Janny M & Seth W

"And the girls there are like 'holy crap, they actually know the song'." - Seth W
karaoke

"Both of these sound conceded." - Paul H
apples 2 apples, bank account or hair

"What happens after X X? It's confusing!" - Seth W
roman numerals

"You're omitting a large part of Ireland." - Seth W
north ireland

"Elitist." "Too bad I don't have a democrat card." - Janny M & Seth W
har har

"Romeo and Juliet were not lucky." "You just have to omit the ending." - Paul H & Seth W

"Wow, you hate nature more than Hillary Clinton?" - Paul H
seth did

"My car is in the back." - Seth W
the song my own worst enemy

"Maybe he wants to see." - Seth W
lee was in the bathroom

"That's how you get a head in life." - Seth W
bj... get it... head?

"Wow, it's so long." "That's what I like to hear." - Janny M & Seth W
coke stream he was pouring

"You guys need to go to the beach and hold hands." "No, we don't." - Lydia N & Uncle George

"And people in the condos are like 'look at what the drunks are doing'." - Dave K

"I ain't got no friends so I don't get on Facebook." - Uncle George

"That was your girlfriend, you know it." - Dave K
uncle george was complaining about some fat girl at work

"I even got a pair of leopard ones I've never wore." - Uncle George
underwear

"I haven't killed anyone and I'm getting seventeen to life." - Uncle George

"Why does that not surprise me?" - Anna A
dimitri ate spackle

"How can you tell?" "The size... Yours is much smaller." "Oh, you peeked." - Howard T & Janny M
we were talking about our burritos!

"Her husband just bought a Buick." "Do they even make those anymore?" - Dimitri D & Mike R

"There's actually less dick in the comic book." - Paul H

"Have they already made love?" "Yeah." "Damn it." - Brian C & Paul H

"That's what I did. Some kid's running around with my hair." - Uncle George
locks of love

"Pat, I peed on it. Don't get it." - James M
pats colts bean bag chair

"Hey, Pat, get a life." "I do have a life. You see it right now." - James M & Patrick M

"She's so cute and to think she's on my lesbian list." - Janny M
drew barrymore

"That's the nicest looking Toyota Camry I've ever seen!" - Leslie B
talking about my pace car

"I don't know how far I can stretch it." "We are talking about Germantown, aren't we?" - Brian C & Leslie B
lol

"We're talking about me, stop being selfish." - Leslie B

"I don't get that." - Leslie B
your face joke

"They're like all orgasm with the cheese." - Leslie B
carrabas

"How did I get the name 'Nut Case'?" - Leslie B

"I'm feeling a lot of Joe right now." - Leslie B

"You said nut case. Nut job is different." - Leslie B

"Do you think your dad wants to talk to me?" "No." - Leslie B & Brian C

"Well eating mayonnaise on bread probably isn't gonna help." - Dawn B
dimitri lose weight

"Like if a running back is running... back..." - Brian C

"These bums don't need to sit on that." - Uncle George
leather chair

"Why did you mess up my nice pyramid?" - Kim M

"Look here, Lamb Chop." - Uncle George
he calls people lamb chop sometimes

""He's not getting rid of my ass." "I don't have a tow truck big enough." - Kim M & Uncle George

"Oh, yes it does, damn it! Oh, no it doesn't." - Mrs Crider

"That's not a comb over, he's fine." - Mrs Crider
bri & his mom were commenting on the congressmens clothes & hair

"It smells good, even in spite of you." - Leslie B
bri's car

"No, we do our own dishes..." - Leslie B
ray was pointing to himself and mouthing 'i do them'

"I'm not cheap." "But you're easy." "That depends." - Ray L & Leslie B

"He was history. That's not a major." - Leslie B

"Who would buy that?" - Leslie B
someone's virginity

"He cuts his face off..." - Dimitri D
talking about his uncle & apes or something...???

"It is a great story if you give it a chance." - Dimitri D
it was too boring

"There's gotta be a fitness club around here because everybody looks really fit." - Dimitri D
there was

"Mmm, sacrilegious." - Ernie A
we smelled something but it was a church!

"I do have a sweet ass... It's not the first time in DC." - Ernie A
we think someone walked by & said something about ernie

"That's my stage name... Fat Brisket." - Ernie A

"Just throw cards at it." - Ernie A
the bill

"It's a good thing he doesn't have a terrorist name like Timothy McVay or Eric Rudolph." - Ernie A
the guy who opened fire at fort hood

"You're having an affair? That's cool." - Ernie A
saw dimitri & i hugging or something

"Howard's been hitting her like a tennis ball." - Dimitri D
me?

"Starter beer? So I need training wheels?" "You might." - Janny M & Ernie A
i didn't like any of the beers in the flight

"You can tell? You saw her at the meetings, then?" - Ernie A
i forgot what we were talking about... twas funny though!

"Bitches be trippin." - Ernie A

"What are we talking about? ...Oh, the b**g." - Eileen D

"We were probably really tense... Like this is really funny..." - Eileen D
they were watching zoolander w/ her dad but he wasn't laughing

"I can't wait to have all my friends over for Sponge Bob... So awesome." - James M

"How many friends is that? One?" - Patrick M

"Cough, it sucks." - James M
coughing it sucks... pats scateboarding video

"Mom, where's my beer?" - James M