View Quotes

"This really weird pot dealing chick..." - Jeff D

"Probably right after he switched religions." - Jeff D
when david took up ecigs

"Gotta do something when you're stuck in traffic." - Jeff D
bri has nair in his car

"He seems like he's happy to be getting out of his religion himself." - Jeff D
david

"We weren't interested with the up and down." "That's what she said." - Brian C & Janny M

"I don't do that with my teeth." - Janny M
toothbrush with a car

"Why are there only three? Why can't there be ten?" "That's a three." - Janny M & Jeff D

"No, not that kinda filling..." - Jeff D
i made the motion (discovery channel song)

"Cut that s**t or I mean c**t." - Jeff D

"How do you feel about women's area shaved into a swastika?" - Jeff D

"F**k that. Tax them rich b*****ds." - Mike O

"As long as they're not committing murder, I don't give a f**k." - Mike O
illegal immigrants

"I hope you step in poo and get some in your eye." - Mike O

"She needs to move and pussy fart somewhere else." - Mike O
a woman in a mini van in front of us wasn't going

"Well the Republicans want to make it illegal." - Janny M
abortion in dirty dancing

"You're upsetting Sammy." - Kurt W

"She looks squished." - Mike O
news lady in non-wide screen

"I know we have chlamydia but that's not much better..." - Matt E
our indicators on one of our websites; the other was suicide

"I'm not gonna sing it but she was cool." - David Ga

"All natural." - Jeff D

"Virgin hear guaranteed." - Jeff D
i don't know

"It's like negative expectations." - Jeff D

"I'm gonna make sure my house is well wrapped in house wrapping paper." - David Ga

"Second time's the charm." - David Ga
downloading the twitter app

"They're tied up. You won't hear them." - Jeff D
the women he keeps in his apartment

"That story makes me want to drink more because it's so sad." - Usif H
bri's teen drinking story

"It's a good thing she died." - Dr Dana W
horrible thing to say

"Haha. At least he called." - Dr Dana W
bri's pizza story with joe

"And you basically rape us over a chair..." - Dr Dana W

"A Jeep is just a brick driving down the road." - Dr Dana W
not fuel efficient, not airodynamic

"Are you gonna write your phone number on there?" "No." - Janny M & Dr Dana W
on the receipt

"I'm so proud I slept with him." - Dr Dana W
guy from mit

"What? You would drive what?" - Usif H

"Another sex on the beach?" "Yeah!" - Usif H & Dr Dana W

"I have higher caloric needs." - Usif H
he can eat a lot

"She doesn't make me do tricks either." - Usif H
for food, like dana does with the doggies

"F**k the church!" - Dr Dana W
yea

"Now I have to kill Brian." - Usif H

"Why don't you live in Colorado?" "Cause call the crazy people live in Colorado." - Janny M & Usif H
this quote probably isn't exact but i was drunk & can't read my handwritting

"Ugh. Vomit." - Dr Dana W
she's on a committee

"That's how I'm gonna get my four." - Dr Dana W
she needs four stars

"That's right, b***hes." - Dr Dana W

"Mine's a time based choke." - Dr Dana W

"Okay. You're not being very smart." - Dr Dana W
someone driving

"I have bad light luck." - Dr Dana W
she always hits red lights

"I've never dreamed about my boobs." - Dr Dana W

"Yeah if you don't have big tits in Vegas you don't make much money." - Dr Dana W

"She was still not nineteen." - Dr Dana W
star wars issues with amidala

"Nobody wants to be licked right now." "That's what she said." - Dr Dana W & Janny M
zoey licking bri and i

"Partly sunny, what? It's eleven at night!" - Janny M
my phone's weather in rockville

"I don't know how to up it. It's like ugh!" - Janny M
simple 508 problem

"It's cosmetic." - Matt Wi
this car we saw that was really broken

"It's crayfish, actually." - Megan Wi
what she looks like sunburned

"Yeah, that's happened before." - Megan Wi

"It's a bra shirt." - Matt Wi
this woman who had a shirt like broken in the back

"It's kinda skanky." - Megan Wi

"Be like, 'can I get a picture of your shirt?'" "My friend thinks you're skanky." - Janny M & Megan Wi
i wanted to get a quote picture to better explain this person of walmart

"Little sausage tent." - Megan Wi

"I was really embarrassed to put out my trash on Monday morning." - Megan Wi
we drank too much wine

"Well sorry I thought we already had eight bottles. I thought nine was too much." - Megan Wi
what we drank last weekend

"There's this new website, it's basically Skype." - Matt Wi

"Are you sure you're not drunk?" - Megan Wi
matt

"They can't tell us to leave since we already bought s**t." - Megan Wi
we had a tailgate picnic in a parking lot

"It's doing it! It's doing it!" "That's what she said." - Megan Wi & Janny M

"Hey, there's a line on the road. That means we're closer to civilization." - Matt Wi
out in wine country

"I don't know if it's worth it or not." - Matt Wi

"It was like, 'who is getting yelled at? Oh, it's them.'" - Patrick D

"It's a little early for Jen to get violent." - Patrick D

"Children, go away." - Caitlin Si

--RESTRICTED QUOTE--

"I think you should do more unless you're too scared." - Mitch Si
we were taking bets on when jen was going to pass out

--RESTRICTED QUOTE--

"Somebody get Jen a drink!" - Caitlin Si
the bet of the night; she had an earlier time

"Stop eating!" - Caitlin Si
jen was eating so she'd soak up the alcohol

"Why does every drink I drink taste like peppermint?" - Jen R
i was putting moonshine in it

"He's probably cooking a bunch of crystal m**h." - Shawn R
what bradley (a kid) was doing

"They were like, 'What are you doing? We don't speak Spanish.' They felt insulted." - Ellen V
in portugal she was trying to speak spanish to them

"Tequila makes anything better." - Jewell P

"You can't get mad at a handle for being a terrible screw driver." - David Gu

"I know. I've thrown a party before." - Shawn R
jen pestering shawn about what they need to buy for tomorrow

"Now Jen's gonna smell like beer." "Jen smells like beer anyway." - Jen R & Janny M
i spilled beer on her

"It changed my life and I didn't even go!" - Aunt Janet
talking to aunt janet on the phone; her credence story

"It took four hours just to put that f**ker together." - Erin L
a friends ikea couch

"Some how he made it through." - Erin L
bear didn't have patio furniture for a bit

"Ella, you ready for your drink?" - Erin L
erin ordered a margarita for ella (just kidding)

"We're starting her early." - Bear M
ella drinking her mom's margarita

"I picked her up from the mental institution, literally." - Erin L

"Weird way to start a story..." - Bear M
the above quote

"Uphill both ways." - Erin L

"That's the one we get at la Costco." - Megan Wi
wine

"We should probably cut back..." - Megan Wi
she and matt get so much wine

"I can't drink beer anymore. I fart too much." - Megan Wi

"Hey you want my number? Toot, toot." - Megan Wi
if she was at a bar drinking beer

"He was just uncircumcised and it was kinda scary." - Megan Wi

"Thank God she came down with shingles." - Megan Wi
lol how aweful

"No! I really like her..." - Megan Wi
her friend she wanted to skip happy hour

"They put like dildos up her butt." - Matt Wi

"We're gonna do this and we're gonna do that and we're gonna get some hats..." - Megan Wi

"I can't adult with you..." - Megan Wi

"I don't know how Megan meets all these swingers." "I know!" - Brian C & Megan Wi

"When she took off her shirt, I was like f**k this s**t." - Megan Wi

"And I'm asleep." "Yeah, he's passed out. He's the f**k over there." - Matt Wi & Megan Wi

"I got a crush on David!" - Megan Wi

"I think you're smart." - Megan Wi
me

"Can't you just open the wine?" - Megan Wi
before david got there, another bottle

"Can't you just screw the cork?" - Megan Wi

"How big is it?" "That's what she said." - Matt Wi & Janny M

"I can't fold right now." - Megan Wi

"Anal beads are pretty expensive." - Megan Wi
wouldn't know

"Sugar shack is a..." - Matt Wi

"That's not fair! You're Latino." - Megan Wi
david

"Here's the copy guy." - Doug Zz
bri since he works at xerox

"It's Mike Tyson." - Doug Zz

"Just plain old bull s**t." - Doug Zz

"I guess I'm seeing him the wrong way..." - Kavita T
ryan gosling

"Why won't you make love to me anymore? Is it because of blank?" "Watch it, Brian." - Janny M & Doug Zz

"Boo Arizona." - Kavita T
doug is from arizona

"Can I be mean, like really mean?" - Doug Zz

"Yeah, you'd be really pissed off." - Doug Zz
christmas cards with no money in them

"Eating an entire snowman... That's what it says..." - Doug Zz

"Unless you're a slut then it's the first one." "It is M T V." - Janny M & Doug Zz

"You can't have anymore. It's the last known bison." - Doug Zz
blank, bet you can't have just one

"They didn't give him a lot of words." - Kavita T
ben affleck in gone girl

"Everything is a triangle." - Kristin K
in north carolina

"I don't know how it's a triangle. It's more like Orion's belt." - Kristin K

"We're talking shapes and I haven't even had a beer yet." - Kristin K

"I didn't do shots until college. And thank God, I'd probably be dead." - Kristin K

"I felt like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman." "So did I when I went there." - Kristin K & David Gu
a nyc hotel

"It's the one with the little guy peeing on the bottle." - Kristin K
what beer we were drinking

"I had disagreements with my former supervisor." "And just F Y I, that's not me." - David Gu & Kristin K

"Some pregnant lady... Good one, Alex!" - Kristin K
who one of our coworkers is filling in for

"It was senior..." "Of course..." - David Gu & Alex B
what his long job title was

"By porn stars... anyway..." - David Gu

"Do I have to learn tonight?" - Kristin K
we were telling her about tesla vs edison

"I'm not drunk so much." - Madhu R

"I took a face break." - Kristin K
from facebook

"I'm going to retain none of that on purpose." - Alex B