View Quotes

"The man's f**king ninety. He was seventy when I was a kid." - Uncle George
our lawyer

"Knowing my luck, it would be a counterfeit ticket." - Uncle George
if he had the winning lottery ticket

"I got a bagel with cream cheese." "You can't f**k that up." - Tom G & Uncle George

"Ten years ago we were too busy drinking." - Travis B
to notice nice kitchens

"Something did something..." - Tricia B

"Mommy's a mess. Isn't she?" - Travis B
talking to cece

"We plant lettuce but we have bunnies... It gets big... and then it's gone." - Tricia B
bunnies eat lettuce

"I'm just no good at it. That's the guy's excuse." - Tricia B

"Speaking of boobs..." - Tricia B

"Oh gross." "I know." - Janny M & Tricia B

"I can only do three." "That's what she said." - Brian C & Janny M

"How do you end it? ...End?" - Tricia B
the phone call on their new phone

"Doesn't my knee taste good?" - Seth W

"Don't listen to her. Go braless." - Seth W
he was talking to bri

"How much of a dick? ...Are we talking Cheney dick?" - Jake T

"F**k." "S**t." "Balls." - Brian C & Janny M & Jake T

"Freedom?" - Seth W
jake freed him in mexican train

"We know you don't have a huge bone." - Seth W

"Jeez. Show everyone I have China. Ruined my entire strategy." - Seth W
bri was dealing out the first cards of the game (risk)

"Just close the deal." "I know you're like Mitt Romney here." - Seth W & Janny M

"Seth can take Asia." - Jake T (pic)
seth is in red

"I just sent this to confuse you but you weren't confused." - Wynne G

"I could have swore I heard one of the nurses say, 'She's a tough old bird.'" - Aunt Ruth

"Let's not discriminate. He collected a lot of different things..." - Drew B
my dad's many roommates

"Unless you had a bad-ay." - Jeanie B
never know how to spell b-day

"I'm staying out of this one..." - Drew B
bri and i were arguing about lawn mowing

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"At least we get to look outside." "Oh yes! I'm so please and happy we get to look outside and I'm happy for those who get to be outside today." - Janny M & Peter F
it was a beautiful day outside, but we were in the office

"Sounds like me. What do you need sown?" - Mike O
he sows

"It was a yellow car, it was literally a lemon." - Kurt W
their yellow car was a lemon

"Thank you." - Cindy O
she got hit with the robber than mike decided to steal a card

"I give her her grandma wing." - Mike O
his mom

"Well you have to roll first." "That's dangerous." - Brian C & Kurt W
he had more than 7 cards in his hand

"They have to be the... same... thing..." "Dork." - Janny M & Kurt W
explaining the game to mike again

"If you guys have a lot of time to burn, you should watch the Never Ending Story." - Dimitri D

"But there's still gonna be Asians driving in those lanes..." - Dimitri D
when 495 road construction stops, they'll still be traffic

"They need to have an A O L lane... Asian's only lane..." - Dimitri D

"Cause all that shit's hoochie." - Dimitri D

"I'm like 'do not walk in there clothed'." - Dimitri D

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"You're benched." - Kurt W
sammy was being bad so he put him on the couch

"I went a little Girl Scout crazy..." - Mike O
he bought 10 boxes of cookies

"I had a brain moment..." - Mike O

"What are you gonna do? Scoop me?" - Mike O
she had a cake server

"Not very impressive, I know." - Kurt W
he put 5 points down

"He gives up quickly. He's like 'this is s**t'." - Kurt W
sammy who plays tug with leah, their lab

"If I'm not here tomorrow it's because I shot myself." - Julia G
her controller wasn't working and she couldn't figure out why

"That's us in therapy." - Aunt Ruth
an exercise commercial where they're all buff

"He's gonna look like a beaver and open beer cans." - Uncle George
bri without no teeth except for his front two

"At least I thought they were bigger." "That's what she said." - Uncle George & Janny M
the hot dogs when he was a kid

"This f**king table is unstable!" - Uncle George
it rhymes!

"It's like an adventure." "Yeah, an adventure up s**t mountain." - Janny M & Uncle George

"But you'll float well on a salty lake." - Kurt W

"That skirt and everything is gone." - Mike O
getting sammy (their cockerspanial) trimmed

"There's supposed to be an old tomb over there." - Cindy O
maybe the tomb of washington?

"She b***hes a lot. I'm as far right as I can go." - Mike O
the gps kept saying 'keep right'

"So are you trying to say she's a big woman?" - Kurt W
mike's coworker rachel, who wasn't big

"I know where you work... for now." - Mike O
threatening rachel who just quit

"It's not a large enough object." "That's what she said." - Brian C & Janny M

"We kind of condone it." - Mike O
calling each other names during mexican train

"She looks at you and the lights are on but no one's home." - Mike O
leah, their dog

"And I advise you to think very carefully." - Mike O
about her next move

"Happy birthday." - Kurt W
mike got a lot of points and was now in last

"That's okay. No it's not." - Mike O
kurt's move

"Aw, yeah. Take that, life!" - Rachel I
she got a lot of points

"I'm going to wake up and be like, 'I can't complete it'." - Rachel I
you dream about mexican train

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"And it has a popcorn button!" "So does hers." - Janny M & Aunt Janet
we had our microwave for 10 years, aunt janet's relative only had hers for 5

"I wish I had a dirty joke to tell you." - Aunt Ruth
always the entertainer

"Well I didn't see you in two weeks." "Well that's your loss." - Janny M & Aunt Ruth

"Corn burns." - Uncle Neil
aunt terissa started a fire by putting taco shells in the toaster oven

"Maybe Jason should be a dentist." - Terrisa H
how much money they make

"We live in the country. We ain't no city folk." - Uncle Neil
talking about animals around their house

"Her fur is really soft. She'd make a great hat." - Terrisa H
their cat

"Why is it always I have to do it?" "It's your present!" - Uncle Neil & Terrisa H
hang the bat house uncle neil got as a christmas present

"Why do you keep a picture of your child in your checkbook?" - Uncle Neil

"If she's working, I can't call her." - Shawn R
jen's sister works at a restaurant we were looking to go to

"This isn't the boonies." "Yeah, we got a Walmart!" - Jen R & Shawn R

"Why are we talking about my boobs?" - Jen R

"Legally Blonde and Legally Blonde Two? Really?" "Those are Jen's." - Brian C & Shawn R

"Just bring it down here." - Shawn R
the baby monitor charger since the monitor was ready to run out of batteries

"I knew we shouldn't have let her stay in this meeting." - Kathy W
i was pointing out more issues

"We're gonna have a discussion if my bank is gone." - Brian C
if i destroyed his bank in paradise island

"What is it?" "It's an American!" - Brian C & Uncle George (pic)

"Oh man. This guy's got a fake blower. I got his a*s." - Uncle George
THE 10,000TH QUOTE!!!! refering to his car people are going to think it's fake

"It's an engine." "Thank you." - Janny M & Uncle George
he always corrects people when they say motor

"If I drive it... sober..." - Uncle George
he will win

"No, I'm not. I'm just a redneck." - Uncle George

"A M radio. Gotta have it." - Uncle George
the car he's fixing up has an am radio

"Oh, Christ. I was having a good day." - Uncle George
james walked in

"There's too many inaccuracies to address." - Brian C
dave was talking nonsense about the middle east

"I'll be in there with Bubba and Bubba looks horny." - Uncle George
in jail for whatever reason

"Oh right. You're ready to run cigarettes to New York." - Uncle George

"Don't ask me to pick up dog s**t." "You don't pick up dog s**t anyway." - Uncle George & Kim Mo

"Kuwait was part of Iraq. Not f**king Saudi Arabia." - Brian C